'Tum Hamein Kuch Nhi De Paoge': Father Lashes Out At Son Over UPSC Exam, Netizens Call It 'Toxic Parenting'

UPSC Civil Services Exam is regarded as one of the most difficult exams in India with over 10 lakh students appearing every year.
UPSC

Every year, more than 10 lakh students appear for the exam.

A screenshot of a WhatsApp conversation between a father and a son about the Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) has been going viral on social media. In a viral tweet on X (formally Twitter), the father can be seen bashing his son over the expected score in his UPSC CSE Prelims 2024, which made the netizens react to "toxic parenting."
The post shared by an X user begins with the father telling his son, "Tumko hum pahle v bole the isme samay barbad nahi karo. Ab tum kahi ke nahi raha. (I told you earlier also to not waste your time on this. Now you are nowhere."
The son told him that he expecting only 75 marks, reacting to the text, the angry father compared him to some other student, saying, "Ghar akar bat karo. Satyam ka dekho 120 question sahi hai (Come home and talk. Look at Satyam, he got 120 questions correct).
The message further read, "“Humko bap kuch nahi diya hum ijjat se Delhi jaisa shar me rahkar jo kiya wo tum dekha. Raha tumhara bat tum se na humko koi ummid hai, nahi humko koi ummid hai nahi humko kuch tum de payega (My father didn't give me anything, I built a life in a city like Delhi. As fas as you are concerned, I don't have any hopes from, neither I hope that you can give me anything).
The conversation ended with father saying, "Aaj v agar tum imandari se padhai kare to upsc kya kuch v nikal denge is bar ka question me v20 questions mujhe aata that aur tum 40 kiye ise se samjho ki tum kya karoge galimat hai ki tum sirf sahi bata diya. Tumhara padhai ka aukat ab sab Delhi se lekar ristedar tak samajh gaya (Even today, if you start studying with honesty you'll not crack UPSC but any exam. Even I knew 20 questions this time, still you did only 40. One can only imagine what you have done. From Delhi to every relative of ours has now understand how much you are capable).
The post, which had over 1.2 million views, sparked discussion about toxic parenting and the UPSC exam. Since there are only 100 questions on the UPSC Prelims exam, many users were confused when the father cited "Satyam" who answered 120 questions. "Questions to Sirf 100 the, 120 kahan sahi kar diya bhai" was one user's response to it. "There were only 100 questions, how come he can correctly mark 120 questions."
One user commented, "'tum humko kuch nahi de paoge,' This is brutal, it can break the mental strength of the kid. I hope wherever he is, he finds peace." Others called out toxic parenting, saying, "Such parenting results in neither professionally successful nor socially well-adjusted individuals. People who call it good and tough parenting will only later realise the perils of this kind of cold and authoritarian approach. Even if the child is successful, they would end up being emotionally bottled up."
"I would have worked as a daily wage worker but disowned this kind of father. It’s toxic on so many levels. My parents couldn’t provide me a lot of resources or education BUT they were always supportive of my decisions and never humiliated me," added another.
One user said, "This is horrible."
However, some users found it normal and tweeted, "Yeh sab normal nahi hota?? My father used to say all kinds of things but after that always sat with me and explained with calmness. He beat me with a Belt, Chappals, sticks, and whatnot for my wrongdoings. But today I am grateful. Baap hai woh, Parents nahi tough honge to kaun hoga. Stop being weak, sometimes Worrying too much about mental health Will make your life miserable."
While some went on to say, "Every child deserves parents, but not all parents deserve children, someone said it right!"
UPSC Civil Services Exam is regarded as one of the most difficult exams in India and over 10 lakh students appear trying their luck every year and only 180 of them become IAS officers.
End of Article
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