Quora User Asks How To Identify Signs Of Emotional Dumping, Expert Explains

Wondering if someone is dumping their emotional baggage on you? Expert talks about the signs of emotional dumping and how to politely refuse people who engage in such behaviour.
Quora User Asks How To Identify Signs Of Emotional Dumping, Expert Explains

(Picture Credit: Freepik)

Whether one is upset over some relationship issue, or is having a hard time navigating through troublesome family dynamics, it is common and understandable for people to vent out their pent-up frustration before their friends and family once in a while. However, these days, a lot of people inevitably blur the lines between emotional dumping and venting out. Wondering how to gauge the difference between the two and what emotional dumping can do to your mental health? These are legitimate questions and one must definitely know the answers to them to protect their mental health from abuse and toxicity. We spoke to Jeevika Sharma, a Delhi and Mumbai-based relationship expert to understand all there’s to know about emotional dumping.
A lot of times people give a patient hearing to their loved ones, thinking that it may help take the load off their chest and allow them to feel better. A Quora user posted on the platform asking people, ‘How do you know when someone is emotionally dumping on you?’. After reading the comments under the post, it wouldn’t be wrong to assume that a lot of people have faced this problem at some point in the past and some continue to deal with it even today. Jeevika says the first and foremost thing for a person to understand is identify the signs of emotional dumping. She talks about some of the most obvious signs of emotional dumping. “When a person feels drained out of energy after speaking to a person, when a person feels they’re not given a chance to speak during a conversation, when a person feels they are called only to when the other person has to let out their frustrations, when the other person is never available in need of help of advice - all of these are signs that you’re being a victim of emotional dumping,” opines Jeevika.
A lot of people struggle with how they can politely refuse the other person to talk about their problems. Some think ‘it’s rude’ to convey so to the other person and others think it will in some way jeopardize the equation that they share. Jeevika believes in adopting a straightforward approach to deal with such people and how one should prioritise their own well-being before anything else. “People should be direct and straightforward. On some occasions, they can politely terminate the conversation by saying how they are not keeping well or are preoccupied with other things. Another way is to tell them upfront how they need to consult a therapist or professional who can offer them valuable advice,” suggests Jeevika.
Given the times we’re living in, everyone has their own share of problems to deal with. One can simply not assume that the other person is always available to talk and listen to them. This is why Jeevika has a word of advice for people out there. She says, “It’s wise and pragmatic to check with the other person beforehand if they are in a frame of mind to listen to their problems and frustrations.”
It’s also possible that the person may completely ignore your state of mind and continue with their monologue in the conversation. Jeevika opines that one should not hesitate before ignoring such people completely. “When they have made clear to you how your well-being is not on their mind, then you should not pay heed to how they will feel after you decide to ignore them completely. It’s important to protect your own peace first,” remarks Jeevika.
In her 7-year long experience, Jeevika shares how she has come across people with a mentality who justify emotional dumping. “Their mindset is that family and friends are there to share the burden. And how, if they’re sad and depressed, it’s okay for their dear ones to feel the same way,” says Jeevika. The trend of emotional dumping on people without giving two hoots about their well-being is indeed problematic. “It is unethical and rude to overshare about your sorrows and miseries with people, as that can impact them too, both physically and mentally,” concludes Jeevika.
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